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I need to make a confession ,which i made during the tough times in covid.
I am Female.
Currently i am working in an IT company and everything is good and fine now.
In my family there are 4 members - my mother , my elder sister and my grandmother.
My father passed when i was 9 in an accident.
During the covid pendamic , i was 21 years old & i was in the 3yr of my eng. (Btech). It was a private college and i have taken a heavy loan from a bank.
My didi was working in a company (remote) then but salary was not that good.
My mother and my didi both got covid and they were admitted in the hospital.
My mothers health was not good , so we shifted (admitted) her to private hospital due to supplences issues in the general hospitals.
Her condition was not getting well. so, she was under good treatment and intense care.
Our all family savings and my didi saving were used.
At that point i needed around 1.80 lakhs for the hospital bills.(including my didi and mothers treatment). It was really a though time for us.
I asked my friends & relatives for urgent need of money but they were also facing problems in their lifes ,niether i could take loan from bank as my education loan was going on already.i was stuck in the very bad financial situation.
There was a college friend of mine, she use to live in a PG in the same city. She knew my situation and she suggested me to talk to her PG Owner for financial help. He was around 45+ retired from some gov. Service. His wife died and he was living alone on the ground floor , his sons were in USA and the other floors of the building he has given on rent to girls PG.
I met him and told him about my problem and i need kinda loan of around 1.8 - 2 lakhs for hospital bills. Initally he said "okay beti, i will help u."
Then when i called him for money , he said .."ki ek kaam karo , aaj shamko mere ghar aa jao - raat bhar ruk jana yahi , subeh leh jana paise" .i understood his intentions and i was broke from within by the situation and also my last hope saying so. I had no choice to agree to him.
I went to him that evening , he was very open with his intentions of wanting physical relationship with me for 2 nights inreturn of the financial help.
I had a kinda quickie with my bf (now ex) in first year. So it was my second sexual experience. So i was bit less nervous &
We had it - & it was very very weird sleeping with a man around my dad's age.
He was not even ready to use condom and it was too risky for me, and also made anal sex multiple times on me - it was so so painful . Thankfully the contraseptive pills worked.
I would never do all this -i was the most decent girl from whole 21 years and i did this for just being stuck in the situation.
Only my 1 friend knew about it and recently i told my didi about it post her marriage and he was heartbroke alike me.
That i lied her that one of friend gave me loan during her and mom's treatment of covid.
Thinking about those situations and that old man makes me feel anxious.
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#0550
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